FOUR STAGES OF FINDING A SHE/HE

 My She  and I have just completed two  years off the BT , but no one’s offering us a degree not even a diploma. I might get in trouble for saying this, but I’m not sure which is harder: two years off BT  or four years of college. At least in college, if you fail a test, you don’t have to sleep outside with the dog.
But don’t get me wrong. I’m happy to have someone I can count on for love, affection, and, whenever needed, a wag of the tail.
Best of all, I can smile whenever I see a soul trying to get off the BT, knowing that I survived that stage of my life.

There are actually four stages — and I almost went through all of them.

CAREFREE STAGE:
This stage occurs in your late teens and early twenties, usually in high school  or Colle. There are so many attractive people around, you can’t decide which
ones to stare at. Playing “hard to get” seems like a good strategy, even if no one is trying to get you. Everyone seems available, and if they’re not, just wait a minute or two, they will come running to you

HOPEFUL STAGE:
This stage occurs in your mid to late twenties. You’re hoping to run into Mr. or Miss. Right at your workplace, but in case that doesn’t happen, you’re keeping your eyes open at the local . There are so many attractive people there, especially late at night, after your fourth Tusker.
If you’re a woman, you’re enjoying loads of attention. One jamaa buys you a drink, while another while swinging car keys charms you with a clever pick-up line: “Hey sweetheart, wanna have my children?”
If you’re a man, you’re trying your best to make a connection with the hot waitress in the skimpy outfit. She might be your soul mate, for all you know, so what if she has a tattoo on her backside that says, “Ali Makwere was here.”

CONCERNED STAGE: You’re starting to get worried, wondering if the person you were meant to be with, the person whom fate intended for you, lives in a grass hut in Loitokitok. For the first time in your life, you’re considering enrolling in a seminary or Convent.
Depending on your background and culture, you find yourself reading matrimonial ads, personal ads, or toilet ads. “you want to feel good all over, call Johnny,” one toilet ad reads,and you wonder if Johnny is a doctor.
You even start to go on blind dates. As soon as you see the person your friends have set you up with, you close your eyes and pretend to be blind.

DESPERATE STAGE:
You don’t want to seem desperate, but the idea of an arranged marriage is beginning to grow on you .If you’re a She, you’re relieved that there are still a few good catches in your age group, never mind that they all live in Kitui. You wonder if it’s better to be “single and stomach full” or “married and hungry.”
You convince yourself that you’re not lowering your standards -you’re just focusing on the positive aspects of men you meet. “He doesn’t have a job,” you say, “but he does have most of his teeth and a friend between his legs.”
If you’re a man, you’ve started saving money for marriage expenses, though you haven’t quite decided on a bride. They all look beautiful, especially the ones on the front of the catalogue. Your search for a She comes down to two important decisions:  Regular or Chips funga.

I don’t know how far blogger riding the BT has gone but thank God, me got a She to call gachungwa.