OF MEN AND BIG BOOBS…

 I’m going to come out on a very important subject and many men will disagree with me. I am decidedly against big breasts.

Now I’m not talking about ordinary, naturally-occurring big boobs, though they are a problem. I’m talking about the super-gargantuan man-made breasts. When I see these silicone-reinforced strippers and adult film stars on talk shows, discussing what it’s like to have a 58LL bra size, that’s when I say “that’s a little wazimu.”

There comes a point where you really have to wonder. Who are these Jamaas who can look at a breast bigger than the head of the woman  and find it attractive? One would assume that not only weren’t these men breast or bottle fed as babies, they actually had to suck milk from a wet rag.

Some people say it’s the novelty factor, the freak factor, that it’s more just the fact that something is way out of proportion to regular people that makes us interested. Yeah, right. I’ve never seen a man pay a Ksh 480 cover charge to look at a woman with really big ugly  feet. I’ve never seen a man pick up a National Geographic and say “would you look at the humongous earlobes on that babe? Now that’s sexy.” But show them a picture of  Pamela Anderson or Cesi Mutungi…

And the worst part is the hypocrisy. We men feel no guilt for leering at a mama with really large breasts, then turn around and not only want, but often need women to tell us that size doesn’t matter. “It’s what you do with it that counts.” As a society, we create pressure for women to shave, pluck, wax, dye, paint, pierce, and surgically enhance themselves, then we want them to love us for who we are. Am I the only one who sees something wrong with this picture? Am I the only one who fears that with advances in penile enhancement surgery, the tables could get turned?

Thus I am taking a stand against big man-made breasts. whether I like them or not, big breasts have got to go.