YOU MEN EXCLUDED, ME INCLUDED

She has done it to Kamau, She has done it to Alan,
she has come up with a good plan.

And she’ll be doing it to You too,
sending You out into the BT.

“PILATO ONLY” she’ll proudly say,
and it doesn’t matter if you’re gay.

You’re not supposed to go in there,
no matter what kind of earrings you wear.

Leave her alone, give her some space;
don’t force me to use my Mace

She wants to be away from your kind

She want to be away from men who move in too tight;
she want to be away from men who pinch with delight.

She want to be away from men who like to leer;
away from men who stare at her blessed rear.

She want to be away from men who are big flirts;
away from maniacs who stare down her shirt.

She want to be away from men who are always teasing;
She want to be away from men who can’t help squeezing.

She want to be away from men who love to grope;
away from men who don’t understand ‘nope.’

She want to be away from men who think she’s trash;
She want to be away from men who are eager to flash.

She want to be away from men who like to lean;
She want to be away from men who act fifteen.

She want to be away from men who are always crude;
She want to be away from men who picture her nude.

She want to be away from Kamau, Alan and You;
She want to be away from YOU GUYS, not Me.

<strong>She’ll put up with me

She’ll put up with me — I’m as harmless as a tree;
the worst thing I’ve done is sing off-key.

She’ll put up with me when I’m always snoring;
she’ll put up with me when I’m always boring.

She’ll put up with me when I have nothing to say;
she’ll put up with me when I have tooth decay.

She’ll put up with me when I never buy a ticket;
she’ll put up with me when I talk about cricket.

She’ll put up with me when I never get off the phone;
she’ll put up with me when I wear bad cologne.

She’ll put up with me when I’m in Disease;
she’ll put up with me when I smell of beer and cheese.

She’ll put up with me when I pray non-stop;
She’ll put up with me when I listen to hip-hop.

She’ll put up with Me — it’s Kamau, Alan and You she can’t stand;
all because of You three, I now have to deal with ‘no man’s land.’

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